Ah,Casino Royale. Everyone loved that classicJames Bondthriller starring… Woody Allen, Peter Sellers, and Orson Welles? That’s right, 40 years before the 007 franchise was rebooted with Daniel Craig inCasino Royale, writer Ian Fleming’s book was adapted into one of the goofiest, most ridiculous movies ever made. As thesearch for a new James Bondcontinues, let’s look back on the undoubtedly weirdest moment in the history of the franchise.
1967’sCasino Royalewas a marquee affair, with a budget that was nearly 12 times as big as 1962’sDr. No. It attracted one of the best casts of the ’60s — David Niven, Peter Sellers, Ursula Andress, Woody Allen, Joanna Pettet, Orson Welles, Daliah Lavi, Deborah Kerr, William Holden, Charles Boyer, Jean-Paul Belmondo, George Raft, John Huston, Jacqueline Bisset, Peter O’Toole, and Ronnie Corbett.Casino Royalewasn’t just bloated on-screen; it was overstuffed off-screen as well.The film had five directors and an untold number of screenwriters and rewrites. Its production went way overboard, always needing more money and more time, and yet it was never enough. AsRoger Ebert said in his review:
At one time or another, “Casino Royale” undoubtedly had a shooting schedule, a script and a plot. If any one of the three ever turns up, it might be the making of a good movie […] This is possibly the most indulgent film ever made. Anything goes.
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Casino Royale
The film stars David Niven as the “original” Bond, Sir James Bond 007. Forced out of retirement to investigate the deaths and disappearances of international spies, he soon battles the mysterious Dr. Noah and the ruthless counter-intelligence agency SMERSH, inspired by actual organizations in the USSR.
Casino Royalebegins with an older James Bond (David Niven) already in retirement. He’s completely different fromany Bond that we know. He lives in a private estate surrounded by lions, playing Debussy on the piano every day, brokenhearted over the death of his lover and fellow spy, Mata Hari.He drinks jasmine tea, lapsang souchong in particular, and has a slight stutter. Hardly the Bond, James Bond that we all know.
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He’s also far from the sexpot we all remember. In many ways,Casino Royaleis a straight-up satire of the Bond franchise and the spy genre in general, especially targeting its sexism and objectification of women. At one point, Bond says, “It’s depressing that the words ‘secret agent’ have become synonymous with ‘sex maniac.'” With Bond being hunted by a gang of female assassins from the evil organization SMERSH (led by Dr. Noah), he decides to have a spy trained to be an AFSD (Anti-Female Spy Device), a James Bond lookalike who can’t be seduced by women but who has the seductive power to entrance any woman. He’s chosen by having a flimsily dressed Moneypenny kiss a lineup of spies. It’s utterly ridiculous.
Woody Allen Is Jimmy Bond
That isn’t the only James Bond lookalike in the film. Multiple people are trained to be James Bond substitutes (even women — very progressive). One of them is007’s nephew, Jimmy Bond, who is far from debonair. He’s played by Woody Allen, after all, who also wrote some of the script. We’re introduced to him being dragged to a shooting squad; before he escapes, he rambles some typical Woodyisms like:
you’re able to’t shoot me. I have a very low threshold for death. My doctor says I can’t have bullets enter my body at any time.
He’s a doofus, and the real James Bond recognizes him as such. “Rather a disappointment, that one,” Bond says at one point. “I told Nellie she shouldn’t have sent him to that progressive school.” By the end of the film, we get to seeWoody Allen burping up animated gas clouds, miming charades, hilariously attempting to woo a kidnapped woman, and more. If you ever wondered what a James Bond comedy would look like, the Allen scenes are a good example.
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How Did Casino Royale (1967) Happen?
The production history ofCasino Royalewas ridiculous and explains how insane the film became. It all goes back to Ian Fleming selling the rights toCasino Royalea decade before the James Bond franchise would become famous withDr. No. Gregory Ratoff purchased the rights to the novel for $6,000, and hired Lorenzo Semple, Jr. to write a script. Ironically,they both thought the character of Bond was idiotic, and wanted to turn him into a female character(hoping that Susan Hayward would play the part). Their script was rejected, and Ratoff died in 1960.
Ratoff’s talent agent, Charles K. Feldman, bought the rights from his widow, and refused to sell them to Albert Broccoli (the co-founder of Eon Productions, which went on to produce all the main Bond movies). Instead, Feldman and directorHoward Hawks wanted to makeCasino Royale, with Cary Grant as 007— what a great film that would’ve been. But after they sawDr. Noin 1962, they decided to go a different direction and eventually decided to make a spoof of Bond. The great Ben Hecht, a frequent Alfred Hitchcock collaborator (and Oscar-winning screenwriter), drafted multiple versions of the script but died in the process.
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Joseph Heller, the author behindCatch-22, was hired to do rewrites. He turned in 100 pages, and documented his experiences in his hilarious essay, “How I Found James Bond, Lost My Self-Respect and Almost Made $150,000 in My Spare Time.” That script was completely reworked by the great Billy Wilder. And then there were the scenes written for Peter Sellers. The actor (who plays a baccarat expert roped into becoming yet another James Bond) disliked his dialogue and wanted to upstage other writers and actors (Woody Allen and Orson Welles in particular), so he hired Terry Southern to literally rewrite his own part. Sellers would become a production problem,going missing for days at a time, and literally refusing to be on set with Orson Welles, forcing the filmmakers to film their scenes multiple times with reverse shots.
By the time the movie began production, the script had been cobbled together like Frankenstein’s monster by myriad writers — along with Wilder, Hecht, Heller, Southern, and Semple, there was also Woody Allen, Val Guest, Wolf Mankowitz, John Law, and Michael Sayers. It was a mess that became messier and more ridiculous with every passing day. But at least we havethe gorgeous, Oscar-nominated score by Burt Bacharach, Herb Alpert & the Tijuana Brass, and Dusty Springfield. Oh, and Woody Allen squirming around like a frightened weasel as Jimmy Bond. Wherever the 007 franchise goes from here,Casino Royaleremains a cautionary tale — too many cooks spoil the broth (or martini, in this case).Casino Royaleis streaming for free on Pluto TV andon Tubi here.
